I am in this stage of life…I guess it is a stage. I hope it is a stage….

Anyway, I need a new job. Like now already.

There are people out there who are very happy in their jobs, their careers. There are people who know “what they want to be when they grow up” from a very early age, and that is what they become.

I am not one of those people. And in trying to figure out why, I just had a thought….

Those people get value from their careers. Whatever that career is, gives their life meaning. I thought every one had a career to figure out. I thought that was a part of the great “Circle of life”  or whatever.

And there are other people out there I know who get great satisfaction from being a mom. They are commited and connected and attend PTO and make the costumes for their kids.. and whatever. And they are great at it. That is where they get value and meaning from their life. And I thought that, since I am a mom too…I had to find my value there in that role. And if I didn’t, well there must be something wrong with me. Because doesn’t every mom want to be the BEST mom ever???

I do want to be a good mom. I do want to give my kids love and care and nurture them.

I want to be a valued employee. I want to contribute and be compensated accordingly.

But my “drive” my “value” does not seem to lie in these areas. I don’t seem to be wired that way. If I was, then wouldn’t I BE that thing that whatever thing?

Instead, I feel inadequate and 2 steps behind because I am not what these other people are in these roles that I also have to fill.

So, where does that leave me?

I am not sure. But I want value and meaning in my life. And I can’t seem to find a career path that will supply that. So I am thinking that means that my peace must lie in some other area of life. Not employee, not parent, somewhere else.

I just can’t see it right now.